❤나 줗아해, 너 알고 있다??~~! ^^★ -Paperscrowns.blogspot.com❉

♥ Friday, March 31, 2006 ♥

Last day of March! Yeah! Finally, Mr Tee came to school today!!! Everyone's miss him So much when he did not came to school last 4 days. Thank Jesus for 'something' it really came true. Thank you! Sigh I am sick today...last 3 days I felt like vomiting...and today really want to vomit. I have flu too... idiot nose! Freaking me. Recess time I didn't not eat my food because I don't have appetite. Just drink and see my friends eating their food. I really not feeling well today. Doctor can't help me too. My heart was painful. When I always saw something I don't like. Sighsigh sigh. Third uncle as helped me to brought my digital camera. Cost about $300plus. my own moneys. Mother never paid anythingfor me. Today will go to the second uncle house/grandma house... The scary uncle...scared.

Today I was not feeling well. So, I need to stop typing.
Take care. Everyone's!!
Take care, your health!

❤PostedOn~ 3:38 PM

♥ Wednesday, March 29, 2006 ♥

today was a difficult day. Today math test 3 papers have return to us. I am quite happy with my result. But can do better. Today was the third day that Mr.Tee did not come to school. Sigh! Everyone in class miss him a lot. Please come back. Hope he is feeling better now? We have miss many lesson of science classes. We need you, Mr.Tee. Faster come back class. Hope he turn up tomorrow. After all lesson, I went to do my library duty. Sigh! Next month is going to 'retire' for my CCA. Every students taking N level or O level must stop their CCA. HAPPY! And today morning while everyone were in the parade square. Mr.Ng went to announce that 'who were supposed to go for the annual awards rehearsal but did not attend to step out to see him' then I went to see him. Many people did not attend the rehearsal. Everyone were scolded by teachers. By the way I did not know that they will have the rehearsal. So, I did not turn up on that day. I was the subject awardees for my EOA. And the real ceremony is on 11 April 2006...scared...My sister friends told me that the awards is a voucher and it from popular bookstore/Cd-rama. If I get was a popular voucher I will buy book and stationery or files. If it is a cd-rama voucher I will buy a cd called 'the choirboys' or new album. I love classics music. I don't like music that is too loud. Example techno...sigh I am so tired... feel like Collapse and ill. Someone help me . please. I am too tired to continue my entries. Freaking me! zZzZZzzZzZzzzz...

❤PostedOn~ 5:44 PM

♥ Tuesday, March 28, 2006 ♥

ITS WAS A BUSY DAE OF ALL-

MY MOOD WAS DAMN SAD-
IT THE SAME!

❤PostedOn~ 11:13 PM

♥ Thursday, March 23, 2006 ♥

A tiring day, same as everyday. My mood always seems not good. This week is my unlucky days or cansay that i this year seem not going well. SIGH! Always after school will go home, locks myself insidea room and sometime will cry. this year i have SIGH every few second, last year in 2005 i only SIGH if my result was not good. BUT, this year? i really have no time to count how many times i SIGH! Actuallymy online day is for tomorrow. it was because tomorrow i am going to charlet with my familys in changi S.A.F. I don't know what will happen that day in the charlet? will i quarrel with my familys members.i think i better keep my mouth SHUT! If bad thing happen on me on that day. My deal with myself is to end my life. oh my god! cause it's really ridiculous! FREAKING ME! By the way friday our school libraryis having a party. but i am not attending. i hope from next month onward. My life will change! Not worse.is better. My horoscope next month is a bit good but it was love. this month my horoscope seem not to beso good. the horoscope said that i have people gossip at my back. IT BEING TATTLE again! So, not good. horoscope said that next month april. i have a secret admirer? i think it surely not me. no one will admirerme. i only have a few friends that was my classmates and subject teachers and cousins or library friends. that all. how they will admirer?? ridiculous. it impossible. i think april horoscope is not true. SIGH.!monday has a math test. i am scared. i scared i will fail - touchwood! can anyone teach me MATH. it reallyvery tough. but i try my best! SIGH! mrs yang called me to help her to make a presentation for a book thatneed to sell it out. hope no error in that presentation. yesterday my health booklet was gave back. my eyeswas getting worse and worse. i think i going to blind soon... because now a days my eyes totally blur. i can'tsee and look clearly, just can see figures of people walking around. too far, can't see. SIGH i don't give a damn on my eyes. if it really going to blind. let it to be blind. can't see? i don't care. SIGH. i most trusted object/human was MUSIC. listening to music will make me feel better. music will not sold me out. love to listen to music so much! human?! i hate human. i hate to be human. i hope i can be a non-living things.so that i will not need to feel, can't hear, can't touch, can't do anything's so, i will not need to do anythings. =)is that a good idea?? and today PE period teacher take our height and weight, oh my god! i actually was 45kgnow is 43kg! i lose 2kg. it was because this week my mood was not good at all. so, i did't not eat anythings. my height nothing change only become abit shorter. SIGH! no mood to write anymore. gotta stop here! =) take care everyone's!

❤PostedOn~ 4:07 PM

♥ Tuesday, March 21, 2006 ♥

SIGH. I don't know how to started today entries. This week seem like i am so an inauspicious!i can't face this matters anymore. I am being piss off! everythings i done let everyone Abomination me! and that is bunkum! yaya! i am not glamour so people look down on me! am i a person that it so hideous! i always wanders if this world become a libertine world. i will longer in this world. let me died better. Now, my heart has a lacerate - wound that can't be treated anymore.SIGH! Can anybody save me up from this darkness world. if i am a girl that had knack, i think i willbe the most happy girl in this world! i am really damn tired and i am so melancholy- sad sad sad! in school i can't cope in my studies and get along with my classmates and some teachers. i already try my best but i am still incompetent. i hope to end my life now!! my studies i hope can be more better next time. About friends! loves to tattle other people. i can't learn from them. right? now, telling a true. i am ready to commit suicide. when i was taking off my badge from uniform, i used the needle from that badge to cut it on my hand. SIGH SIGH!! I am not joking. today in school my feeling-heart is some where not in my heart. I don't know what i am thinking?? it about relationship,love,studies. no one seems to talk to me this few day. what happen? did i done anything's? i am innocence. when i always listen to music my tears will flow out from my eyes ITSELF. i cried until ... now my eyes is completely blur. I really needs a person to care for me. if my look- face seems to be black or head looking down. you will know that my mood on that day was bad. but always no one not even onecheer me up or talk to me. i am lack of conversation with my friends,familys...so, on. please.ibeg everyone let me be alone now onwards. if i done anything's wrong or said anything's wrong. please correct me/ tell me about that matters, i will change. don't annoy me without any reason.in facts now, my familys and friends seem to odious-hate me SO much. it freaking me! i am really tired. it tiring! i think i should give up. after my important 'N' level examination will i givingup everything and include my love (my dream sweet date is gone), my studies, my friends, everythingaround me, i will give up cause i am tired to continues all this nonsense. friends sold me out. everybody seems to sold me out. I am sorry to those people out there that always care for me. i haddisappointed you. I am really sorry! i just wanted peace. is that so difficult! today math remidialwas cancel too. everythings seems not going well. SIGH! i am complicated to continues my entires. i would stop here! good luck everyone. =)

❤PostedOn~ 8:54 PM

♥ Friday, March 17, 2006 ♥

Today wake up very late … then after I brush my teeth and wash my face then I called forth aunty that I am not going to her house. Actually today is going to forth aunty house to stay over night. Then my mother was not feeling good so, my mother decide not to go.
So, we didn’t go. I am thinking what wrong with me?? Cause this few days I seem not eating anything. Even the whole day I don’t eat I am still not hungry. Example I ate my lurch I just ate few bite only. I don’t know what wrong with my stomach. When I told my mother and sister they will say. “U going to died” scared me!! I scared I MAYBE will have any illness….. If I died I will waste MUCH money that my mother feed me for many years. I am not scared of died. Just only scared no one take care of my mother. SIGH- I am really too tired and wanted to give up. I have a lot of problem. No one know and can’t help me to solve it. Everyone always seems I say thing sound very profound. But Not! I really a girl that problem and stress. Really hope someone can save me. SIGH. I just want a peaceful life. I hope few years later, when I have a boyfriend. He will treat me well and give me good life. I really VERY TIRED. HELP!

❤PostedOn~ 2:46 PM

♥ Tuesday, March 14, 2006 ♥

Wake up at 7.30am after eaten my breakfast (half of the bread). I went to change my uniform to go to school to have my science remedial with Mr Tee and include chong hua.
The remedial was 1hr30min, but Mr Tee was slightly late. And he had message me about that. So, we end the remedial at 10.30am. After the remedial, I went back home to bath then I meet chong hua at the coffee shop. We went to meet the rest at Toa Payoh Inter red circle. Then I, Chong Hua, See Miang, Nicholas, Tong Lee, Liguo went to Jinwei House.
At his house void deck we met Julianna, Yvonne, XianHao. After that we set Jinwei Relative Van to East Coast Park. After we arrived at East Coast Park we went to find an empty ground to let everyone settle down. Then we found a seat then we settle down. Seemiang and the rest went to swim at the sea. On that day I can’t swim cause of PMS =P. After a few moments Mr Tee and another rest arrived. Then when everyone in our class arrived we started to play. BUT I am not playing, swimming, cycling. Not even one. After that Mr Tee set a Tend. I am the one always inside the tend and for long hours. It was because I can’t swim, I can’t cycle, I can’t Do anything but just only sitting at the tend LONELY. The rest went to swim, cycle. Only I, zakiah and Mr Tee were in that tend. Then Mr Tee went to swims. Left both of us inside again. After that I seat in the tend till 6pm plus. Then BBQ started. Everyone run to grab all the foods. I and the rest can’t get any foods. Then finally the tray left some chicken and hotdogs. I and the rest took some of it. I have eaten 2 hotdogs only. So, counted the whole morning I just ate half of a bread and 2 hotdogs. Then after the BBQ I again I went into the tend again. Then evening about 8-9pm plus. When everybody were really to go home. We pack up. Then I, Mr Tee, Xian Hao, Jinwei went to Mcdonald. Then We sit Mr Tee car. Mr Tee stop Jinwei at this house. Then Stop Me and Xian Hao at My Block. Then xian hao walk back to his own Block. After we say goodbye to Mr Tee then I went home.
WOW!! Mr Tee car have lot of sesame street character. ERM.. not bad.. =) I LOVE ELMO. !!! HE lOVE ERNIE… BUT ELMO IS BETTER lolss…=)

❤PostedOn~ 10:58 PM

♥ Friday, March 10, 2006 ♥

on 5 march 2005
8PM-10PM

A BAD REPORT

my second uncle goh boon hock. hit me on my head and pull my ear.
it was because of lim sin ru - a four yr old cousin of mine.
it begin like this......
that day on sunday third aunty ( lim sin ru mother's ) ,
fouth aunty (lingling 5 yr old cousin of mine - mother's) ,
and me,mum,sis ... wents to grandmother ( it also second uncle house) to meet up to have fun
and brought along my 'ill' computer to let second uncle ( name as- computer uncle) to repair part of my computer. it was very fun and happy in the afternoon playing 'the sims 2' with
the rest of my cousin. LIM SIN RU ( a very bad & naughty girl) love to insult me ( but i also insult her back her) she love to bully me and ling ( but lingling loves to play with her, as their age is around there) weilun ( my 10 yr old cousin of mine) also hate her a lot! LIM SIN RU always will use her saliava ( kao shui) to use it on me. on that day she insult me. asked my clothes brought from where wanted to challenge with me ( A 4 YR OLD GIRL ) wanted to challenge with a 16 yr old teenage!!! OMG! this is ridicurious !!! so, i decide to bully her back. So, everyone wents into second uncle room to HELP TO play with them. then, xiaoting ( second uncle wife) was inside too. they will making puzzle. later on, i later keep on asking lim sinru to GET OUT if the room that everyone argree with me, she must be out of the room. So, we chase her out of the room. ( second uncle was not in the room). later on, lim sin ru was standing at the door knocking at the door to let her IN! everyone did not unlock the door to let her in included me. A few mintues later she cried. then, second Uncle thought we bully her. after second uncle order KFC. after we ate the foods. i and ling ling wents to rooms. ( lim sin ru was inside the room after we unlock the room door to go outside for foods) . lim sin ru was on the bed playing. i wents towards to called her out. she say [ nananipupu ] she did not want to go out. i push her hand to let her go out. after that second uncle came in. he thought i was bullying. a few second she ACT to cried ( she was very very CLEVER to act) . then, second uncle scold me and called me to BEHAVE myself. then, i say to my Second uncle "why must i behave, she at first make saliava ( kao shui ) [saliava- did i spell correctly] ?? on me why must i be so gently to her" then i i look at lim sin ru and say "na na ni pu pu" then second uncle BECAME ANGRY! he came forward and pull my ear. ( OUCH! it painful) then i used my hand block back him. THEN he became more angry!! he used his OWN HANDSSSS to HIT VERY VERY VERY VERY HARD ON my HEAD!!!
( i don't want to be STUPID) then i scold very LOUD on him. HE SHOUTED BACK " I DON'T HAVE MANNERS" ( why i cannot? if he want to kill me, i must let him kill then it called HAVE manners iszit?") he nearly hit me to death! then my second uncle wife (xiaoting) bring me out of the room ( i am crying) . then second uncle came out too. then second uncle stand in FRONT of me ( the same height with me , SHORTIE) he say i bully LIM SIN RU. the elder wents to bully younger. ( I DID NOT) then i shouted to him "why she can bully me. i cannot just make back her". HE SHOUTED back she was " SO SO " young. she don't know. ( THEN EVERY CHILDREN CAN MISBEHAVE and BULLY PPL MMEH!!) then i shouted back then "why when i was young and still was a children ( when still staying with grandma) WHY you beat me , cane me , punish me!!! i was also children, i also don't know" (IS THAT RIGHT). he nothing to say... keep on plus thing to scold back me ( BECAUSE HE DON'T WANT TO LOSE ME) ...........................SIGH SIGH SIGH SIGH!!!!

CAN ANYONE TELL ME WHO IS CORRECT.
DID I DONE WRONG ?
OR
SHOULD I JUST LET THEM BULLY ME! & JUST KEPT QUITE.
WITHOUT ANY ACTION WAS DONE!.
STRESS!!!!! ANGRY!!!! HEADACHE!!!

PLS TELL ME A WAYS THAT I CAN DIED MORE FASTER.
1) COMMIT SUICIDE
2) BUY A GUN SHOT MYSELF
3) JUMP DOWN BULIDING
4) LEAVE THIS FAMILYS & DON'T HAVE MONEY TO BUY FOOD
AND DIED!

__________ ???

❤PostedOn~ 4:43 PM

♥ ♥

todae i wents to school then at mr.tee science gave back our class progress report. My subject mark was ENGLISH - 50/100 ;( MATH-75.3 /100 ;) SCIENCE- 60/100 =) CHINESE- 60/100 =) CPA- 73.3 ;) EOA- 96 /100 ;)) . my marks was not bad, it only for my english was so, gd. it was because miss tan gave our class directed writing for our normal homework. the next time she told our class the directed writing will be added to our progress report. i was assassinated! oh my god. my homework did't not done very well. it was because homework was not too important to me so, i did not really put wrote it seriously. i must try to do every homework or work seriously. =p . i was so, happy my eoa get 96, 4 marks to 100. FULL MARKS! i am now worrying my english,math,science,chinese won't get better grade then this time round. mr.tee told me now speak more english not english mixed chinese. ;P Okay i will speak more english onward. he say that my blog always have shortcut english and grammer mistakes. so, todae onwards i will write all my blog in standard english and not singlish. i must get all my subject grade 1!! i must work hard then anybody else. i hope everyone who read my blog can tag in my tagboard to give me advice. so that i will improve. this few day i was watching channel 5 and not channel 8 or U - next week is holiday. i am going back to school to have remindial with miss tan , chonghua, etc.. and tuesday will have science with mr tee . after mr tee remindial i maybe will go for the BBQ with the rest of my classmate that mr tee organise for our class 4T2 ! all 4T2 familys will be going to the BBQ at east coast park. i am still considering wheather i want to go for the BBQ. it was because this few day my mood was not so good. Cos my family problem. mr tee and friends beg or can say that they keep asking me to go for the BBQ. should i go?? it was a class outing. i had did not go to east coast park before. i also don't know how to go to east coast park and how to come back home. mr tee say to me i will meet the rest of the classmate at toa payoh red cicuit. when we go back home he will send me home. but it will be busy of him. on that week i will be having my PMS ;p - i can't swim. only will be playing. it will boring. and only (maybe) some of my only will accompany me. the rest? will maybe swimming or playing true or death. that was thier plan at the east coast park. SIGH - can anyone tell me should i go or not?? my have a moodswing. i will be sad for the whole day if at that day my mood is not good. by the way today blog was longer then the rest of my usual blog!
i can't believe my eye. i have type till here.
i will promise my mother, mr tee , mrs peter, friends to workhard for my exam and N level exam. i must get the best grade that singapore Normal techical student did't not get. i must prove to my uncle (who hit me) and family and the rest of the people who look down on me, that i will get my BEST result in N level . I MUST!!!. i will prove them wrongly that they are wrong.
i won't not be my 'friend' behave like hooker or hopeless people!

YEAH!!!!

❤PostedOn~ 3:40 PM

♥ Sunday, March 05, 2006 ♥

wake up todae at 10plus then after i packed up all my things then fat fat uncle come my house to helped me install e dvd cd drive into my computer. after i helped my mother to do her cooking then wents to bath. then after finish all my things. uncle ride us to grandmother house. then third aunty & forth aunty & fat fat uncle ... r there too... then computer uncle me to expand my computer local disk (c;) frm 6gb to 12 gb... and my DATA disk is 20plus gb-... now all my cousin ish playing THE SIMS 2 games... www.thesims.com .. jj cao cao new album very nice... keep repeating track 6 and 5... 'bu si zhi sheng'... gtg to play wiv all my YOUNGER COUSIN- =) TML is sch agian- SIGH.

7dae to my darling burfdae -

❤PostedOn~ 4:24 PM

♥ Friday, March 03, 2006 ♥

todae wents to school e same... yesterdae sms miss E.tan asked from adding 2 more marks to my test... she agree =) and miss tan added 2 more marks to everyone in class... so i tink i help many ppl to passed english rite. i did not well in my english cos i don noe miss tan will take e homework as CA1 test. then my direct writing i any how write so i get lower marks. so now i jus get 50/100 - 30r60 * 100 = 50 jus passed. nxt time i cannot anyhow do. lolss. tis yr i get subject awards for my EOA. lucky last year i was not put in 3t1 or 4t1 or i can't noe i can do well in my eoa. if im in techical studies i will get any subject awards... todae science lesson is interesting. lolss.... sad nobody thk me for e english tests... nxt time don help anyone le.. ' hao xin mei hao bao' SELFISH!!! forget it... then same as usually go home. eat maggie mee ... then surf net... do search for my cpa coursework foto. SIGH...

❤PostedOn~ 2:38 PM